In Memory of David Gene Bollinger

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David was born in Decatur, Indiana on January 2, 1980. He is my oldest son, he has 2 brothers Eric and Matthew.

David attended school in Fort Wayne Indiana where he also played pal football. Later on David went to job corp.

David has One son Jordan 5.

David had made alot of bad choices in his life, and had spent 5 years locked up and had just been out a little over a year. In that time he had build a  great relationship with his son, joined the ironworkers and had everything together and going good or at least I thought he did.

He fought his battle and died on his own battle field

 

 

 

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

 

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Jordan dressed like Daddy

Suicide is one of the hardest deaths there is to deal with, there are so many unanswered questions, the biggest is WHY.

I do not understand what lead my son to do this. I as a mom blame myself for not seeing things coming, if only I could have known. This is something I will have to work through on my own. And maybe someday I will begin to forgive myself.

I will never be the same person I was before all of this becaause a part of me also died that night. I just have to learn to live with the heartache and the greif and pull whats left of my life together.

  

When the  pain it took to stay was greater than the pain it took to leave

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue

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p_fear44@hotmail.com